No, my life's not too complicated...

Wait! Yes, it sort of is. Or maybe not. It's okay to be talking to multiple guys at once. I'm not sleeping with any of them, so it's all good. Recap of the latest:

Sunday I ended up going to the cyclo cross race to see Alaska guy. Wouldn't have gone if my friend wasn't going to be there watching her boy. We hung out, he wore a kilt, we went out to lunch for burgers. Had a couple of beers on an empty stomach after a 10 mile run. Wait, I guess I had a banana:) We met up with some other bikers after that but called it a day soon after. All and all, I guess we hung out for a few hours. Then comes that moment I hate....the saying good bye moment. Longer hug than our date, which was over a month ago, I think. Kiss on the cheek from him, then the awkwardness. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I lean away! I don't know...isn't this supposed to be easy? He texted me later that night and then again last night. Again, the long distance throws quite a wrench into things, I think.

Meanwhile, as I was with Alaska man, 25 year old decides to text me. How was your weekend, he says. Whatever, I don't really get that, mixed signals, no signals, whatever you want to call it. 

Gray's Lake guy commented on my lovely running facebook statuses all weekend. He was up in Minnesota and called me as soon as he got home last night. I think he's funny. And waaaaay nice. Lunch date tomorrow at Old Chicago. I wonder if it is a conflict of interest or something to go on a date during work. Oh well.

And Steve the Pirate....just some facebook messaging. I think I might be meeting him in a group of people next weekend?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I have a dinner "as just friends" with a guy from ragbrai on Monday night. That is his phrase. Hey buddy, if it's just as friends, why are you sending me private facebook messages about it instead of posting it on my wall??!!

Where's the R & R?

Just when I thought my life would be less complicated, it is still just the same as before.  Didn't see Gray's Lake guy last week, but we definitely have a lunch date on Wednesday.  I'm kind of getting nervous about that!  We were supposed to meet (and walk around Gray's Lake:) back in early June or something, but things came up, got kind of weirded out by him, starting seeing the Big Douche Bag, and things fell to the wayside.  We did become facebook friends though, and have kept in touch off and on since then.  I have been rather open in emails, talking about my "emotional" issues or irrationalities a little, so I feel like I have gotten a little personal with him, which, consequently, makes me nervous to meet him after like 3 months of email, facebooking, and texting.  Hopefully it won't be like my very first online date when I thought like I was going to have a heart attack from being so nervous!  I am pretty sure I won't be eating much though!

I don't know if you guys have seen it, but I have been watching "He's just not that into you" a lot lately.  DVR'd it, so it's a good movie to watch when I am tired and bored.  I read the book in about 2 hours this afternoon.  I wish I would have read it when I was dating what's-his-name.  The book was written by a man, in fact a guy who had input for some of the Sex and the City episodes.  It's quite enlightening.  Basically, if a guy is not asking YOU out, you shouldn't bother trying to ask him out.  If a guy really wants to date you, he will find a way.  I think that's a healthy way to live life.  Apparently, a guy would rather lose an arm than tell you that he's just not that into you.  And we women justify jerky behavior by making excuses.  So true.  The point of this ramble is that I haven't heard from the 25 year old, so I am going to just leave it at that.  It's okay if he's not into me...I don't know the dude that well!

The Alaska guy DID call me the other night.  He is coming up to Des Moines every Wednesday fo some cyclo cross practice.  (Some bike thing.)  Unfortunately, he leaves town before I get off work, so I am normally unable to meet up.  However, he does have a race tomorrow, and I told him I would try to make it to see him even though I am doing my own race right before hand.  He wanted to try and make it up to Des Moines tonight but had other family obligations. 

And I got a facebook reply from Steve the Pirate.  (I had to make up a name for him since he is a match making prospect from some friends.)  Haven't replied yet....not sure what I want to do with that. 

All right, I can tell I've been home alone all day, reading and watching movies, because I am just going on and on and on and on...........

And......break!

Ahhh....internet dating freedom!  Turns out my subscription was up yesterday.  Good thing I checked!  I thought it was up tomorrow and would have been charged for another month.  I also hid my profile so people couldn't wink at me or email me.  I wouldn't have been able to respond, so what would have been the point?  Does this mean I will be spending Friday and Saturday nights home alone with sushi, wine, and the dogs?  Apparently not!  Nothing definite is going on with the 25 year old, but we saw each other last weekend.  I may have a lunch date with Grays Lake guy today, and if I don't, I will definitely have one with him next week.  I haven't been in touch with Alaska guy since last week since I have been so busy, but I got a text from him last night saying we still needed to catch up.  And I totally forgot about a couple of weeks ago at the tailgating party I was at, some friends of a friend wanted me to meet a friend of theirs:)  Does that make sense?  So, apparently, I still have prospects.  But with working 2 nights a week, random girl things, last minute plans, I really wonder how much time I have for dating anyway.  I guess it is all about how much time I actually want to invest in it. 

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Okay, so I have been having this insomnia problem, pretty much since ragbrai, but it has been bad this week.  I don't think I have gotten 1 good night's sleep all week.  And still......I'm meeting the Eyebrow guy.  (2, not 1, just big)  We are having drinks at 7.  Maybe they will help me sleep, even though wine hasn't been working for quite awhile!  I hope I am not too terrible company, since someone at work already told me I looked really tired.  Usually, that is code for you look like s#$t!  Not sure if I mentioned this before, but this guy knows my cousin, and he is supposed to be really shy.  Usually I don't go for the shy guys because I don't like to have to be the entertainer.  I am rather an introvert myself, so we will see how this goes!  I am sure he is athletic, but he said that I make HIM feel lazy with my race schedule.

Then I got a call from the Asian guy.  He winked at me, I winked back, then he sent me a brief email saying let's go out to eat and here's my number.  I still hate talking on the phone with people I don't know, even after 3 months.  And our conversation was similar to an interview.  Him, "What do you do for fun?"  Me, "Um, I am going to a concert on Saturday."  Him, "How long have you lived in Des Moines?"  Me, "Uh, 4 years."  And so on and so on.  I swear he was reading a script!  But anyway, I am going to meet him on Monday.  Of course he asked me what kind of food I liked, and I said lots of kinds.  I still had to name some off.  Um, Chinese, Italian, Mexican.  Damn, I forgot Thai!  Anyway, he asked me where, I said I would rather he pick (c'mon, I need a man who can make decisions for pity's sake!)  so, he picked the Cheesecake Factory.  Really?  Oh well.  Not that I don't like their food, I just don't usually eat at chains as a general rule.  At least he didn't say Applebee's.  I would have had to hang up right there!

So Thursday date.  Check.  Friday night at home.  Check.  Saturday with the girls.  Check.  Monday with indecisive interviewer.  Check.  Thursday my subscription is up, hooray!!  See me jump for joy!!!

The clock is ticking...

Not my biological one, my Match subscription!  It is up on the 23rd, and I think I am really going to let it go this time.  I feel like I truly need a break from the winking and emailing and all that jazz.  I am meeting a guy tomorrow night.  He actually went to school with one of my cousins, so small world.  I guess we could call him the Simpson guy.  I had another nickname for him, but it's not very flattering!  Trying to get in touch with the Alaska guy, but when I usually work 12 hours on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, it makes things kind of hard.  Then there is one more guy (again, I need a better alias for him!) I might meet next week, and I should be done.  That's 4 to juggle right now with the 25 year old, and let me tell you, that is plenty!

Trying to decide what to do this weekend.  I was going to go home for a visit, even though I plan on returning the first weekend in October.  One of my friends wants me to run a 5K and go to a concert.  Normally I would be up for it, but I am doing 5 races in 4 weekends.  I am not sure if I want to up the ante to 6 in 5. 

Wanting to rip my hair out....

Remember how I got stood up for my lunch date with BDB?  Well, I got a text a 6 in the morning the next day saying, "I wanna crawl into bed with u..."  Is this guy serious???  The next time he texts me, I am going to tell him to leave me alone.  I didn't say that yesterday because I didn't want to start a texting war and ruin my day.

I officially feel like a cougar now.  I met a guy at the bar on Friday night, and he is 25.  He doesn't look that young and doesn't think I look almost 32.  We've been texting all weekend.  He wanted to meet up with me yesterday, but I was partying at a friend's house.  To me, it just would have been weird for him to show up there and meet my friends.  Especially since I just met him the night before.  Part of it also is probably my newly found committment phobia.  To me, introducing someone to my friends is equivalent to introducing him to my family.  Since my family lives so far away, my friends are my family here.  When I was seeing the BDB, one of my friends sent me a text saying they wanted to meet him.  I said, "We'll see."  Good decision on that part, since he turned out to be a douche bag anyway. 

The Alaska guy called me today for some advice on his bike adventure race.  I am not sure if he is coming back today or not.  Haven't heard from him since.  I would sure have a hard time leaving a party like that and driving home that far!

Deals with the devil

See what happens when I make plans with BDB?  I get stood up for a lunch date I wasn't even sure was a good idea to go on!  What is this guy playing at?  I want to say, "What the hell is your problem?  I am not into games, and I am not into drama!"  So I haven't heard from him since Tuesday when he got this bright idea to meet for lunch.  He wanted it to be at my house, but I definitely thought that was a terrible idea, so I suggested we meet somewhere.  After a few more meaningless texts, I thought we were going to be meeting, but I never heard from him after that.  To be safe, I left my house around 11, since I know he takes early lunch breaks, and I didn't want him showing up at my house unexpectedly.  I ran errands til 1 just to be safe.  Still haven't heard from him, so good riddance!  Against my better judgement, I was giving him another chance.  Well, your chances are now up, buddy!!

I have just about had it with Match lately.  Seems like only the weird and unattractive have been finding me interesting.  I can't wait til my subscription is up in a couple of weeks, and I am taking a true break!

I just got a text from Alaska guy:)  He called me last night, and we talked for awhile.  He headed to Chicago today to participate in the Urban Assault Race there.  I did that when it was here a few weeks ago.  It was a blast, and I am sure he will have fun!  At least so far he seems nice (and not obsessed with sex!)

Like you, he's not a smoker

Come on Match.com, can't you come up with anything better than that??  Everyday, I look at my 5 daily matches, and more often than not, 2 of the things it says are, Like you, he's not a smoker and Like you, he's the oldest child.  I'm pretty sure I am not going to build a lasting relationship with someone having those things as the main things we have in common.  Isn't there a little more to go on than that?

Okay, okay, I am texting Alaska guy right now since I haven't heard from him since Sunday....done.

Guess who I heard from?  You're right....BDB.  He asked me what I was doing for lunch this week.  I told him I was off tomorrow, so he said, "Friday...you, me, your place, lunch?"  I said....how about we meet someplace?  He said that works too, he was glad I was at least talking to him, and like a week after he told me about it, he stopped seeing this other girl.  He said he was an idiot (well duh!) and he missed me.  My resonse was, "Where do you want to eat?"  I will hear him out, on neutral ground, but I haven't even seen him for over a month, so what does he really expect from me?

I started talking (emailing) a guy who knows my cousin really well from college.  Small world.  Of course I texted my cousin yesterday to ask about him, and he said that he was really shy and I should probably meet him a couple of times.  We'll see....he feels lazy compared to me since I told him I was running 5 races in 4 weekends.  I don't think he's lazy, this is just my crazy time.

Quiet time

I thought about adjusting my profile a little bit today.  After all, I have been pretty unpopular lately, but I couldn't think of anything to say.  This is not shocking since writing about myself was the biggest hurdle I had to get over in the first place.  I decided to just leave it as is.  I got a wink from a guy who is 5'6".  I'm sorry, but he might be the greatest guy in all the land, but I could just not feel comfortable towering over him like Zena the Warrior Princess.  Otherwise, not much activity.  I am getting "repeat" winks now from guys I have never responded to.  I did get an email from a guy named Greg.  He apparently likes to read, which is a rarity, I swear. 

I also noticed that a guy whom I went out with before was viewing my profile.  I am not sure why.....for our date, I think we had a good time.  We had drinks at a bar in my neighborhood.  He even asked me if I wanted to join him for a baseball game the following night, but I had already planned another date with the Triathlon guy.  Of course that turned out to be a disaster, so I should have just gone to the baseball game.  Let's call this guy Gluten Intolerant guy, since he actually is that.  So anyway, Gluten Intolerant guy sent me a text later that night after the date saying that he surprisingly had a good time.  Then about an hour later, he clarified that by saying it was surprising because of Match, not because of me.  I guess it was his Mike's Hard Lemonade that made him say that because I pretty much didn't hear from him after that.  He sent a reply text to me saying his was tired during his clinicals, but then did not respond to my next 2 texts over the next 2 days.  Of course I am not a stalker, so if people don't reply after about 2 texts, I quit. I can't decide what happened with Gluten Intolerant guy.  I figure it was one of two things.  Either he wasn't impressed with the fact that I was still going out on date with Triathlon guy even though I really didn't want to anymore (we discussed this during the date), or he is not impressed with the fact that I have cheated on one of my long term boyfriends in the past (we also talked about that during the date.)  Look, I was just being honest, and it is hardly my fault that the night he was going to propose to his college girlfriend, he found her in bed with his friend!  So anyway, why is Gluten Intolerant guy even looking at my profile??

I am happy to be working normal hours tomorrow again.  Alaska guy sent me a text first thing in morning yesterday, rubbing in how he got to sleep with his windows open the other night.  Except for that, I thought it was sweet and a good sign that he thought of me first thing in the morning.  Then he texted me before I left for work last night.  I might have to break down and call him tonight.  It just sucks that he lives almost 2 hours away.....

Drinking Revelations....

I hate to be all introspective, especially after drinking a few and after a win from my favorite sports team:)  However, this week, I have taken a look at my dating experience.  I definitely have not made myself emotionally available.  Good, yes.  Bad, yes.  I went on a date once with this guy, and when we were talking about our histories (a Match no-no by the way) he asked me if I was a Serial Monogamist.  I said no, but then I said yes, maybe I am.  Not intentionally, but it turned out that way.  One 6 year relationship followed closely by a 4 year relationship.  Check.  Going into the 4 year one, I tried to take it slow, not wanting it to fall into the "rebound" realm.  Now, I offer myself up to the online dating world, yet I don't call anyone.  I don't initiate any contact.  I'm not so afraid of being hurt as afraid of getting involved in something that will lead to no where and steal a few years of my ever shortening life.  Is that unhealthy?  Survey says....yes.  I guess what I am trying to say tonight is that maybe I need to be taking more risks.  What will it really hurt to send an email to someone I am interested in, right?  That is my goal....out on "print" for about 2 people to read...but, nevertheless.

On a more positive note, I did receive text messages tonight from the Alaska guy....he does know I work all weekend, and I haven't talked to him since I called him on Tuesday, so I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him.  Maybe that will go somewhere...

Old News

Seems I'm still old news on Match.  Very few winks and emails, though I did get an email last night that included the following:

"Have you ever came home and found a path of rose petals leading to a hot bubble bath, or a card in your purse saying how special you are, or maybe just candlelight, dinner and a quiet conversation. Maybe you would prefer a weekend in Vegas or someplace with a sandy beach or it's the little things that a great relationship offers. I love it all?"

Unfortunately, I am not a hopeless romantic, so I find this message more than a little weird.  I find it even weirder that someone would send it to a person he had never met.  Maybe this is what romantics do...I don't know, I have never dated one.  I did read in his profile that he likes "The Notebook."  I know my co-workers are going to get a laugh out of that one later!

I haven't even heard from BDB lately.  This might be the longest I've been textless from him.....although I thought I was done with that one text-stalker guy, and he kept texting me for 3 weeks after I had last responded to him!  What a psycho.  I seem to have lost interest from King Size Bed guy too; certain friends of mine will be relieved.

I actually called Alaska guy last night.....it might be the first time in over 3 months that I have initiated contact that was not online or via text.  Making progress?  Maybe.  We talked for 20 minutes...no future date plans, but I told him I had to work the 3 day weekend.